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They all laughed…

Jazz and humour make good friends. Sax player and legendary club owner Ronnie Scott was famous for delivering great one-liners on stage. This may be a dying art but plenty of us musicians keep on sharing the fun at gigs and online.

All-time classics

  • How many clarinetists (or sax players) does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he’ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.
  • What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.
  • What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless.
  • What does “rall.” mean on a score? coming to the passage you haven’t rehearsed.
  • How do you know it’s a vocalist knocking on your door? She can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in.
  • What do you call two guitarists playing from the same score? Counterpoint.
  • Little Jimmy: “Mummy, when I grow up I want to be a jazz musician.” Mother: Don’t be ridiculous dear. You can’t do both.

My favourite joke

A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two parrot. “This one’s £500 and the other is £1000” the clerk said.

“Wow! What does the £500 one do?”

“Sir, this parrot can sing every solo Charlie Parker ever played.”

“What about the other parrot?”

“Well, this one can sing every solo John Coltrane ever played.  We’ve got another one in the back room for £4000.”

“You’re joking! What does that one do?”

“Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him ‘Maestro’.”

Spoof Big Band

Please drop me a line and help me fill the missing chairs…

Trumpets – Al Tissimo / Diz Astor / Rusty Piston

Trombones – Mosley Late / Sue Saphone /

Saxes – Kenny Read / Izzy Sharp / Otto Tune /

Rhythm section – Phil Allgaps (piano) / Ron Kords (guitar) / Pete Ziccato (Bass) / Otto Time (drums)

 

 

 

 

Bird shout (twitter-a-ning)

@Frank_Cava “The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” Dennis Green”

 

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